I figured it was safe to record this here since no one ever reads this.
Managed to exercise today. 5k. But instead of making me feel better, it utterly wiped me out and ultimately wound up aggravating feelings of failure and despair. My life is almost completely unchanged from what it was before quarantine, why is my mental illness flaring up so badly? Of all the things I could be obsessing about, why can I think only of every love I've ever lost? I'm in a house in which a dozen sentient beings look to me to sustain them. How could I feel so completely alone?
Going out a corn field to paint some crows is starting to look really good to me these days.
