Vogon Poetry

The following is my first attempt at Vogon poetry:

A Vogon Sonnet

Thy gangledworts be ever on my hronds

And splingle forth in splooshing gartred  thorls.

They ooze in squacking whindling nether ponds

That proot in misty morning flacting whorls.

How fragrant are thy trondly drondlebees.

How sweet thy marstled under froaging bracks.

Do furtled qualmlies sneep thy dangled speez?

And squirting cromblies crosh in all thy cracks?

The ancient drackleglopleflibbers stare

At flassing goles that treek when ere you pass.

And crechle when thy flassing anus bares

thy flurbed’ clouds of hidden ploothed’ gas.

I’ll one day hear thy flatumenic tones

And rist thy sphlinctered nipply trunts…see if I don’t. 

(N.B. Vogon sonnets "mostly" follow Shakespearean style.  They are iambic pentameter with an ABAB CDCD EFEF rhyme pattern.  The final couplet deviates from standard form in that apparently ALL Vogon poems end with the phrase "see if I don't.")