είμαι Θεα

Back when I was male...  (I say it that way because even my kids say that I was never really a man) ....but back when I was male, every other day I would have a nightmare in which I was either being fired or was about to be fired.  I usually wound up 87549//////////////////////////////////////////////////////nhbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb (damn it, Dog.  Get off that freaking keyboard!)  by co-workers who tormented me that I was a terrible programmer, a horribly ineffectual human being, and an idiot.  This nightmare became so regular that as we went off the bed, I would kiss my dear wife good night and ask, "I wonder what horrors await me in dream time tonight."

These night horrors tapered off when I started transitioning and disappeared completely after my surgery.   My semi-nightly demonic taunting have been replaced by dreams with varying degrees of lucidity.   When the dream is completely lucid, I am essentially God.  But I am not a jealous god.    After one nocturnal apotheosis, I spend the bulk of the night fulfilling the wishes of everyone I met.  And they didn't even have to tell me they loved me or even believe that I was God.   (It's good to be de god.)

Last night's transfiguration was particularly gratifying.  After hanging out with Xena for a time  (she's a pillow princess, who knew?) I found myself at a combination summer school/summer camp.   After enjoying the double-occupant showers and the mandatory sex with other denizens of the girls' dormitory, I decided to continue exploring the rest of the camp au naturale.  There was none of the "Oh my God, I'm naked!" panic of other dreams.  I knew I was gorgeous and was treating the other campers/students to a beatific vision.  No need for false modesty. 

I wandered into the wrestling class.  It was disappointing that I had to wrestle guys,  but they were distracted enough by my nudity to attempt to use their flame throwers on me.  A simple wave of my divine finger took care of that nonsense and sent them flying against the wall.  Utterly bored, I started back for the dormitory, but couldn't remember exactly where it was.  No problem, I thought.  That's the way things go in dreams.  You can never be sure that something will be in the same place when you go back to it.  So, if Jimmye couldn't go to the dormitory, the dormitory must come to Jimmye.  The entire world warped until the entrance to my inner sanctum approached me like a supplicant. 

I woke up with the stupidest of grins on my face.