OK, I'll admit there was a time ...many years ago...when I actually tried to have sex with a man.
In fact, this man:
Yes, he was a female impersonator. So as far as testing how gay I was, I don't think I get full credit. I did learn something though. Gay sex is the ultimate expression of masculinity. You could have two of the campiest, flamingest queens getting together, but when the door is closed and the Madonna cones come off, you will just have two guys going at it. Sex between two men is all about "fucking." There is really no other word for it. It's just two men ... obsessed with all things manly and worshipping cock. Absolutely the last thing they want in that room is anything feminine or (cringe) girl parts.
Consequently, there was nothing for me there. Whenever I tried to fit in (so to speak,) while he seemed to enjoy himself, all I could think of was, "Great. Now I have two penises I don't know what to do with."
Um...that's it? All naughty bits and nothing else? What's different with lesbian sex?
ReplyDeleteGay sex is very physical. It's all about "fucking." In fact, when I tried it, that word was about all I could think of. Lesbian sex is much softer. The word that ran through my head when I experienced girl sex was "beautiful." There is a lot of touching of course, but most of the experience goes on in the heads of lovers. It's very mental...almost self-referential. I know exactly what she is feeling and she knows exactly what I'm feeling. I know that she knows it and she knows that I know that she knows. All this knowing and vicarious touching begins to implode until you start to feel as though you are falling into a singularity.
DeleteWell, at least you found your path and acted on it. Most of us are too chicken-shit to do that. Be happy.
ReplyDeleteWasn't really a choice. It was either this or die. Perhaps not physically, but I was quite soul dead.
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