Introitus

I was at a comedy open mike a couple of weeks ago.  When one of the comedians got up, it was very clear that this was his very first time on stage.  He was terrified.  He needn't have been because he had some interesting material.   But at one point in his routine, he started talking about "lesbians with dicks."  After the show I asked him if he had ever met a lesbian with a penis.  He said, "Oh no,. That was just meant to be something stupid.  Something that didn't make sense.  Something that couldn't possibly exist."

I said simply, "Oh,. Well, um....surprise."

I explained to him that I actually was a lesbian with a penis.  He didn't understand.  So to make sure that everyone who reads this blog understands what's going on here, let me explain that while I am most definitely lesbian, I am just as definitely transgender.

Yep.  I'm not just a perv.  I'm a double perv.

If you have a problem wrapping your brains around that, don't worry.  No one understands it.  When I meet someone, practically the first words out of their mouths are, "wait.  So you want to BE a girl, but you still want to DO girls?  Isn't that a long way to go just to wind up back where you started?"

No...yeah...OK, I could go on for hours talking about genetic mistakes and faulty testosterone washes in utero, but it really comes down to just one thing....I just don't like pee-pees.  I don't like looking at them.  I don't like touching them.  And I certainly don't like having one of my own.

But I just can't seem to get away from this thing.  It's like I'm being stalked.  Even when I go to the bathroom and look down, my first thought is, "what? Are you still here?  I know so many trans-men who would love to give you a nice home. You'll get plenty of exercise, you'll be able to run around, you'll get lots of lovely testosterone to keep you big and strong.  Don't that sound nice?"  It doesn't do any good though.  It just keeps hanging around.