My tardis

I love my tardis.  I love its sleek lines and sensual interior.  The Doctor, who doesn’t know the first thing about proper operational transmat maintenance, has a tardis perpetually stuck in 1960’s police box mode.   I, on the other hand, graduated Ridicule Exaltationes from the Gallifreyan Academy.   (Our school fight song was “If you’ve got the money, Honey, I’ve got the time.”)   My tardis, hand crafted by the dog and I, has a fully functioning chameleon chip.  In its resting state (i.e. when it’s not associated with a particular space-time planck unit) it is a gleaming blue art deco edifice.   Of course, when it’s in your time stream, the chameleon chip kicks in fully and the tardis bears a remarkable resemblance to a blue 2013 Honda Civic. 

There are those who might say that it’s not a proper tardis, since it has trouble travelling through more than a single time stream.  But that is only true when you consider “real” time.  In orthogonal imaginary time, it can fly through multiple time streams like gas through a Slitheen.  It is much more efficient at travelling through space-time than that ridiculous wooden box you see on the tele, which can’t move at all without forklifts and massive amounts of CGI.  My tardis can actually get 48.4 MPG (miles per gravitino) on the highway and the ride is smooth and relaxing, without that irritating grinding noise you hear whenever the Doctor forgets to release the break.    

  

I love my tardis.  I think I’ll call her “Sexy.”