The National Dyke Test

I want to talk to a special group of straight guys.  I'm talking about those men who have secret stashes of lesbian porn.....OK, I guess I'm talking to all of you.  Please note that having a sapphic cache of masturbatory images does not make you a lesbian.  If you want to see if you are truly a lesbian as opposed to a just a pervy straight guy, answer this quiz:

1) How do you feel about seeing a woman with more muscles than you?
2) How do you feel about dick?  Or if you are vaginally challenged, how do you feel about having a dick?
3) How does getting a whiff of male musk make you feel?
4) Have you ever even noticed "man stink?"
5) Ginger or Mary Ann?
6) How does the thought of male hands on female breasts make you feel?
7) Which of the following images do you find "hot"?:
         a. men kissing other men
         b. men and women kissing
         c. women kissing other women
8) Daphne or Velma?
9) One point for every character from the "L word" or the "Real L Word" you can name.
10) Is Lady Gaga a crypto-dyke?
11) Do you know what a crypto-dyke is?  No strike that.  No one knows what that is.  Stupid question.  Idiot!
12) What was your reaction to the first 15 seconds of OITNB? 
13) Do you know what OITNB even is?
14) When you see a "hawt" woman, do you first fantasize about:
     a) fucking her
     b) eating her out
     c) curling her hair, piercing her ears,  and talking with her about boys
15) Do you think Wonder Woman is gay?
16) Explain in 25 words or less why you would like to be a donut bumper?
17) Do you have Borderline Personality Disorder?  Are you attracted to women with BPD?

Answers will be graded on their correspondence to the way I think.