They are all over the place these days. You can’t watch a simple show about lesbians
behind bars or some faggoty dance competition without seeing them. You know who I’m talking about. Those damned “transgenders” (or whatever the
hell they call themselves these days.)
They are a particular thorn in my side
Trannies have no sense of humor. There are notable exceptions, of course, but
the vast majority of the “gender non-conforming” wouldn’t know a joke if one
bit them on their injection-mark covered asses.
There’s a saying in comedy, “Never tell a tranny a joke, ‘cause while
she’s figuring it out, they’re sweeping out the theater.” I hate doing comedy with trannies in the
audience. I don’t know if the funny has
been beaten out of them or if being trans has made them all paranoid, but when
the rest of the audience is falling off their bar seats with laughter, the
trannies are cocking their heads to the side like confused dogs. If they do understand the joke, a lot of
them will actually respond by explaining the joke to you. “Oh I
see what you did there. When he said, ‘Hu’s
on first’ you thought he was asking the question ‘WHO’s on first.’”
Trannies love defining crap. You get five trannies in a room together and
you will wind up with eight different opinions. I doubt there is a single one out there that
doesn’t have hir own definition for the words “transgender”, “transsexual”, and
“queer.” Anyone who doesn’t accept those
definitions as written in silicone is an ignorant buffoon in need of
education. The word “gender” seems particularly prone to
clarification. Once upon a time,
everyone understood what “gender” meant.
You were either a man or a woman.
Transgender theorists (yes that is a thing) came along and split hairs
upon already split hairs so that (at last count) there are seven different
facets of gender : biological
gender, subjective gender , social gender, gender roles, gender expression, gender identity, and
gender identity expression . Being unaware
of the semantic spaces of these terms will get you branded as a transphobe.
How many transgenders does it take to screw in a light
bulb? 100. 1 to do the screwing. 99 to discuss the proper definitions of the
key terms “bulb” and “screw.”
The ways transgenders react to anyone using a word
“incorrectly” points to the biggest problem I have with the whole community. Trannies
have incredibly short fuses. To talk to
a tranny is to feel like navigating a mine field. Because trannies have “triggers”…lots of
triggers. They patrol those triggers
like spiders tending their webs. You
just never know which set of triggers will set your tranny off into a hormonal
fire storm. Some trans-women will jump
down your throat if you call them “he or him.”
Whether you did it from hostility or from habit doesn’t matter. Others
spit nails if you simply use the phrase “transgendered.” And
woe to the poor slob who uses the word “shemale.”
The most common tranny trigger by far is the term
“tranny” itself. This word has become so
anathema that merely saying it will transform the typical T-girl into the
goddess Kali, all fiery eyes and eight weapons flashing. That
the term originated in Australia and was always used affectionately means
little. The “T” word now has exactly the
same usage as the “N” word for blacks.
We can say it when referring to ourselves, but if you say it you will lose your radio
show.
Paranoids are so convinced that people are against them
that they will actually make people turn against them. Trannies are so quick to judge others for
slights (either real or imagined) that they wind up alienating those that had
been allies and turning them into enemies.
The great bugbear of the trans community is Cathy
Brennan. Her site “Pretendbians” is a
repository of all that is misotransgynecous
(my own neologism. Yes, I do it
too.) Call her on her venom and she will
post infantile pictures of a man who has castrated himself and say “sorry about
your dick.” She even works on trying to
take away what meager rights trans folks have been able to scrape
together. The problem is that she was
not always thus. There was a time when
she was a firm friend to the trans-community.
Then once upon a time, she wrote a paper calling for a woman-born-women conference. The rationale for her trans exclusion was
that women who had been socialized as females their entire lives had issues to
address that trans-women who had been socialized as men most of their lives
could never share. At the end of the
article, she even explained that though trans-women would be excluded from the
conference, it was important to note that they were women too and should be
respected as such.
Well, the trannies went ballistic. “Bugbrennan”
was inundated with angry protests saying that her woman-born-women conference
was a slap in the face to the trans community.
The air was blackened by the cries of “transphobe” and
“cis-privilege.” The response was so
vehement and so unending, that she ran out of cheeks to turn finally said a collective
“fuck you” to the whole lot of them.
Susanne Moore is another victim of pissed off trannies with
word processors. In a piece about
female body images, she made the unfortunate mistake of saying that women feel
they should have the idealized figure of a “Brazilian transsexual.” Any way you look at it, her comment was meant
to be a compliment. But not to the
trannies. All they heard was a feminist
writer mentioning them. They immediately
pounced and forced her to make a retraction.
They forced anyone defending her comment to make a retraction. They will most likely force me to make a
retraction for daring to defend the defense.
I have been in this community of unconventional
conventioneers for many years now. There
are so many trans-folk that I dearly love and some I even consider family. My daring to criticize the language and
paranoia of the trans community has branded me an inauthentic trans-woman and
little more than a man in a dress. I
don’t care. To my hyper-vigilant
brethren and sistren I say, “get over it, Maria” and I give a collective “fuck you too.”
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