I am not a typical Wiccan. I don’t honor the Horned God, I’m not into
ceremonies, and I don’t do spells. That last difference is what marks me mostly
as a pagan heretic. I’ve never known
another Wiccan who didn’t practice magick (that’s how they spell it) of some
sort. In fact, Wicca seems synonymous
with magick. If you don’t cast spells
why bother being pagan in the first place?
Practicing my religion consists of connecting with God
directly. I call myself a Wiccan because
when I feel that connection fully, God seems completely female to me. People have said that my insistence that God
is a woman is a reflection of my obsession with femaleness in general. How could I consider communing with a male
god when I have such a problem relating to men in general? I see nothing wrong with that analysis. Sounds good to me. But it just describes how my concept of
godhead came to be. It says nothing about
the validity of my beatific vision.
Casting spells is an attempt to wield power over the
world. Most Wiccans say it is a very bad
idea to cast any sort of spell on another human, apart from a protection spell
or a karma spell. No “die, you cheating bastard” spells. No penis withering spells. No “love me, Johnny Depp” enchantments. But most Wiccans say that it is perfectly all
right to cast spells asking for stuff. You are allowed to cast enchantments to get cash
or heal someone or even find a new love (you just can’t ask that a particular person notice you.) These
sorts of spells are the closest thing to prayer that Wiccans practice. You
can’t influence the actions of people, but it’s perfectly all right to ask the
Goddess for ….well, stuff.
I don’t even go that far.
When I commune with Mom, I never ask Her for anything. I don’t try to influence Her. I figure She has things pretty well worked
out and it is presumptuous of me to try to second guess Her. So, my meditations generally revolve around
loving Her, thanking Her for giving me much more than I deserve, and most of
all trying to accept Her plan for me. “Not
my will, but Yours” is what I wind up chanting generally. My worship consists of learning to trust Her
and trying to see that everything that happens to me is for my benefit.
So I am mystified by those that say they follow an
omniscient and omnipotent deity, yet feel no problem with asking for that deity
to grant their various prayers. If
someone was hit by a car, just pray that God heals them. If you’re out of work, you can pray for God
to grant you a miracle and get you that job at Costco. You can even pray that your sports team beats
the living crap out of that other
sports team.
To me, it sounds like all these devout people are saying,
“Look, I know you got this plan for everyone and all, but I want to ask you to
change that a little bit for me…..not a lot.
Just a little bit. I thought that
might be all right since I’m planning on giving you all the credit. I’m even willing say that it wasn’t my idea
since I’m asking for all this stuff in the name of Your most holy kid.”
This is tantamount to saying, “not Your will, but mine.” Prayer is an attempt to impose one’s will on
something in the universe. That makes
prayer little more than church-sanctioned magick.
